Domino Theory 2012. Not so absurd anymore…

Consider this scenario:

If Wall Street in the USA fails due to bonehead mortgage lending… and the USA stock market self-destructs, that will cause the Hong Kong Bansai market to collapse… the collapse of the Hong Kong Bansai will cause the German Gotterdammerung Market to falter bringing down the London Picadilly Circus… With currency values plummeting so fast that the pound will only be usefull as toilet paper, the Brazilian ALCOOL futures market will boil over and leave a stinking mess on the floor. As everyone knows, Brazilian ALCOOL is directly related to college frat party drinking of ethanol right from the pump causing widespread panic among people over thirty. Since people over thirty are about half of the investors in feng-shui arrangement services, that entire business will effortlessly re-arrange itself into a zen masterpiece drawn in sand that subsequently gets washed away when the tide rushes in… The other half of the investors in feng-shui services (people under thirty) will start texting each other frantically causing an email flash mob to converge at the corner of 34th and Vine, Los Angeles… there they will demand little bottles of “Love Potion #10″… even though they have never even downloaded the song! RRRRIOT control special forces from Blackwater Incorporated will tazer the mob and they will all be taken away to secret government prison camps located in the Trinity Alps. Displaced Marijuana farmers, freaked out by the sudden population increase of texting nerds, will stop making their income tax payments, get a haircut and get a real job. This will disrupt the delicate balance of power between the Mexican Mafia, the Russian Mafia and the actual Mafia.

In order to keep the balance and prevent the end of Western Civilization, the US government nationalized the banking industry by purchasing banks for $700 billion dollars… causing Communism to have won… The means of production are now owned by the people! Or at least, the financing of production is now owned by the people… or the government… or someone… not you… not me either…

So, you can see that “The Domino Theory” was accurate!
If your pizza takes more than thirty minutes to deliver, you get $3.00 off the price.

If you have never heard of the Domino Theory…
During the late 1960’s a bizarre concept arose among wacky think-tank dwellers, Supposededly, if we lost the Vietnam war, then countries near Vietnam would fall to communism… First Vietnam, then Cambodia, the Laos, then Thailand and they would keep on falling like dominos until Mexico fell and we had communists at our border…

Sure, with 20-20 hindsight we can see that this theory was totally false, but at the time, it was widely believed by the gullible masses…


Tags: , , , , , , ,

One Response to “Domino Theory 2012. Not so absurd anymore…”

  1. martingale Says:

    We are a group of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our
    community. Your website provided us with valuable information to work on.
    You’ve done an impressive job and our whole community
    will be thankful to you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: